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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR BOY BAND HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
NEW YORK, NY-- Jive Records thinks they may have pulled another musical coup. On March 18th, the progressive thinking producers signed another boy band, hoping to tap into the elusive Over-65 entertainment demographic.
The new band, The Replacement Hips, is the latest chart-topping success to hit America. Their first single, "I Love You, But I've Forgotten Your Name," has already reached Number One at the Fairmont Retirement Home, in Boynton Beach, Florida. Their second track "Our Love Bubbles Like A Glass Of Alka-Seltzer" is to be released next month. The band's surprising success--so far--has been attributed to the members' ability to work together throughout the good times and the bad. "We've been lucky so far," says founding band member Elmer "Nicky" Lupinsky, 91. "We've had to replace our bad boy three times, on account of them dying, but we're happy with our direction. We'll bite into the boy band market, even if it means putting our teeth back in." The geriatric group has plans of touring, but Floyd Caspartino, 78, also known as the "cute one," is worried about the how the fans will treat them. "It's important for me to have my nap at 2:15 every afternoon," says Floyd. "If them groupies are rapping their canes on my hotel room door at all hours of the day, I won't get my rest, and I'll be cranky for the concert. It's tough being a sex object--no really, at my age it is." Jean-Francois Lepin, 85, is grateful for the encouragement from his family. His son recently granted him leave from the extended care facility to perform at the Boynton Beach Recreational Annex, earlier this year. "J-Fry" reports: "It's important to realize your dreams. Me, I can't remember my dreams. But if I did, I'd sing about them...if I could remember the lyrics, or the melody, or how to turn on the microphone. Where's my nurse?" The group's success is the biggest surprise. They released their debut album "Breaks From The Hip" in late February, and would have reached platinum in their first week, had the album been available on vinyl. Concert promoter and band manager Howie Sturgess insists that "The Hips" aren't an overnight sensation. "It's taken the better part of a century to nurture them into what they are today," adds Howie. "When you see them at the next Boysapalooza, you'll realize what we're talking about...as long as we can schedule them to appear onstage before 4pm." The other two band members, Herbert "Herbie" Lanz, 88, and Huey "Lambo" Lambert, 86, both admitted that maintaining a single image was also important. "Since we're all widowers, we hope to project ourselves as being elusively available," says Huey. "But it's not just about dames. It's about liquor and dames." Their next
concert appearance is tentatively scheduled for May 9th, at the Shady
Breeze Lawn Bowling Centre in Greenacres City, FL, providing that all of
the members are still alive on that date.
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