 |
 | |||
|
|
| |||
|
|
 |
 |
|||||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR CHTHONIC HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
THE BLACK FOREST, GERMANY-- What started as an innocent teenage ritual, turned into a nightmare for German high-school students visiting from Hanover.
The annual trek into the Black Forest (for a week of camping, hiking, and serious groping) was turned upside-down by the appearance of several hellish chthonic creatures released from their bonds at the center of the Earth. The German students had read several passages--as a joke--out of an ancient tome, not realizing what the consequences would be. "At last, we are free," the creatures were heard to rumble in old German, with heavy Frisian accents, "At last, we will have revenge." One of the students tried to recite a counter-spell, only to discover that the words were for a recipe to make stew. "It was terrible," recalls Gunther Weissenbachenstiegel. "We were lying on the ground, taking an afternoon nap, when suddenly the ground shook, trees fell down--and these are very old trees too, it's very upsetting--the earth tore apart and these huge stone horrors came out of the ground. One of them ate Lothar. I was not happy." Between six and eight of the creatures emerged from the ground. Four had headed towards Frankfurt, two were traveling slowly towards France, and another two may have returned into the earth. They were crushing everything in their path, and leaving extraordinary large footprints behind. Each creature seemed to be shaped of clay, yet had eyes like burning embers. No one completely understood the incantation that summoned the underworld creatures, but German police recommended that the use of black magic should be banned, or at least licensed. "What can we say," said Constable Karl Schwizzelschtikenstein."We are not trained in handling these situations. We are usually only called upon to watch out for people smuggling cuckoo clock, not animated creatures of the undead." Horst Flaussenzateeth, a student of Chthonic studies, believes that the creatures have a natural weakness to sunlight, and heated surfaces. "I recall
the incident in Budapest involving that cleric and his evil golem,"
said Horst. "Oh, no wait, that one was made of chocolate."
|
||||||||||||||||
 |
|
|||||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |
