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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR RELIGIOUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
HARLAN, IOWA--God, the Almighty King of Kings, has granted an unemployed minister's wish for a reference letter. With the letter, the out-of-work member of the religion industry hopes he won't need a miracle to find a job.
"I get a hundredweight's worth of requests every day," said God, "for a lot of strange things. Most of them go straight into the 'round file.' if you know what I mean. But how could I resist the earnestness and righteous zeal of this young man? I decided to give him a hand. Of course, the rest is now up to him. He's got to make it happen for himself." The minister had created a resume, but there was very little experience on it, and he felt he needed something more substantial to give to prospective employers. "I prayed constantly for days," said Hubert E. Allsworth. "After graduating from bible college it was impossible to get a good job, unless you 'knew' someone. After pounding the proverbial pavement, I finally decided to take it to The Lord himself and see what He could do for me. After all, I am devoting my life for His cause. Seems to me He should help out a little." Allsworth hopes to minister what he calls "some kind of middle-of-the-road protestant" congregation, but is willing to move farther afield if the right opportunity shows itself. "I'm willing to look at Catholicism, or even Greek Orthodox," he said, "but I don't know about the flaky, way-out 'the end is nigh' people. They tend to get killed or put in jail. I don't need that." Allsworth was starting to lose faith, but one day the reference letter came--hand-delivered! Allsworth was more than a little surprised when It arrived. "I was putting out the garbage and suddenly these trumpets started to blow. I looked up and there It was: the Hand of God, revealed in all His Majesty. I was taken aback at how many liver spots It had, though. I grabbed that letter pretty quick. I didn't want Him changing His mind." So far, response to his letter of reference has been mixed. "It's
very interesting," said Pastor Guido de Molina of the Holy Sepulcher
Church near Harlan, Iowa. "The letter looks authentic. Unfortunately
I can't read Aramaic, or whatever It's written in, so I really don't know
what It says. And there's no contact number."
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| This fictional story about religion is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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