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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Oh my god! I just cannot believe we went and saw Shrek on the weekend. I mean ewww! Like as if Cameron Diaz would go for the Swamp Thing. Give Me A Break. Okay, so like this prince guy, apparently he's loaded, and so what if he's short. Can't you get an operation or something? And anyways, so he's all like "get me a princess" so he can get crowned. And he's all about cleaning up his kingdom and getting rid of the freaks. So okay. But, woah, he pisses off the Jolly Green Giant, and his little horse sidekick. Whoops! So then, Shrek, and his talking horse go back to the prince all pissed and stuff, wanting the toadies out of his grotto. Then Prince Charming Jr. sends him on a quest, blah blah blah, slay the dragon and bring back the princess. Okay deal. But, and get this, the princess is like some grotty ogre chick at night, or she's wearing some serious avocado mask. Anyways, she's all hot in the moss over Shrek (why?), and wants to tell him, but then he hears something, and she says something else, and then he's all "whatever princess", and the horse is all like "what the f*ck", and so she bails on him. Then, when you think "wah" on Shrek, he breaks up the wedding, and sends the dragon to chow on the duke. End of story. And oh, so Shrek's happy, he gets rid of the faeries, and scores himself a green babe. But that's his opinion okay? I think Cameron should have kept the castle, ditched the prince, and then she could have had swamp nookie whenever she wanted. But, whatever.
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