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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Go Lara! Go Lara! That's what I'm talking about girl! Yes, I took in Tomb Raider on the weekend, and oh girl, does it live it up! You see, Angie J. has it kickin' hard in this Indiana Jane adventure. Give that girl a whip, and Harrison Ford would be begging for snakes. She of course plays Lara Croft, this rich-girl treasure-hunting dynamo, who's moping about her long-dead father. She lives in an amazing house, with lots of gadgets, and male servants. I could just watch that for two hours! But whoa! There's a lot of mumbah-jumbah going on. The world is in deep poop because someone left their time machine unlocked or something. I figured out that Lara has to go globetrotting for this jigsaw puzzle triangle thingy, and put it and this other clock thingy into a giant automaton thingy (I looked that word up). But it seems like the Masons or the Shriners are after it too, and Lara's gotta watch out! But who's worried!?! Lara smacks it up, and looks good doing it. All the baddies are so busy drooling over her boobs that she is able to save time, her boyfriend, and her sled dogs. Then she goes back to the castle for a Zima. That completely rawks. I was just a teensy tad jealous over Angie's hot bod, but I know the cameras add ten pounds to your chest. It's nice every once in a while to just sit back and watch a movie without having to think about it. Gosh knows how much I consternated during Tomcats.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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by
Shirley Eugeste