CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE

Text Ads and Text Links on The Toque
Text Security Cameras
Humor TopSites
Biting Satire
Funniest Jokes
Super Duper Pages Directory
Online Golf
Dating Women
Bowling
Diet Weight Loss
Apartments For Rent
Home Equity Loan
Fucked Up Link Dump
Electric Bikes
Learn English
Free MP3s
Funny Pets
Home Garden Centers
Canada Travel
Funny Signs
Good Canadian Website
Free Emoticon Smiley Generator
Really Bad Hair
Womens Health
Poker Gaming Sites
I Have To Confess
Cel Phones
Refreshing News
Rewarding Loans
Car Insurance
Lying Scumbag
Pet Names
Free Website Games
Myspace Layouts
Wacky Videos
Puzzles And Stuff
Text Link Advertising
Modest Houses
Language School
Start Your Own Cult
Evil Guide
Grouchy Joe Proud American
Bachelor Tips
Domain Under Construction
The Lord Above
Virtual Web Log
Nude Pictures Of Jessica Simpson
Geek Jokes, Computer Jokes
Funny Baby Pictures
Adult Jokes
Funny, Strange, Bizarre New Stories & Pictures!
Daily Humor, Satire, And Funny Stories
Advertise Text Links on The Toque
 

by Burt Umbre


TORONTO, ON-- On a recent Monday, Uther Gregers is met with baffled stares as he leads a deer into the boardroom of a major pharmaceutical company, during a conference.

The 150 managers and directors seem even more confused when he pulls out a stun-gun and shoots the deer in the head and drags it onto the board-room table. There he guts and dresses the deer, handing huge slabs of fresh bloody meat to all assembled.

He is used to the confusion. Hunters are, after all, supposed to be in the woods, not the concrete jungle. When corporate managers see his name on the conference agenda, identified only as a hunter, they can't help but wonder what he could possibly say to motivate them.

Whatever it is, companies are lining up to listen.

Mr. Gregers has tapped into a motivational speaker's bonanza: disillusionment among managers fed up with the rat race. Job uncertainty, longer workdays and shorter vacations all add up to a big challenge for the executives of the company: how to re-inspire those who must guide the flocks that depend on them for leadership.

A hunter since he was 12, Mr. Gregers stumbled onto his new calling when his brother-in-law had a nervous breakdown after a downsizing in the telecommunications company he worked for.

"He was crying like a baby," said Mr. Gregers, "I had to slap him around with the butt end of my rifle, and finally I got him taking the entrails of this buck I shot out to the dogs. That seemed to help him. Then, when I went out the next day I took him along, telling him that if he spooked my prey I would shoot and gut him instead."

After this incident his brother-in-law, a Human Resources manager, saw the potential in his approach. He booked Mr. Gregers for the company's annual retreat, and his career hasn't looked back.

His message is straightforward: Killing and dressing animals can make them do their jobs better, and there will always be fresh meat for dinner.

Burt's Archive

 
Advertise on The Toque for $30/month
Raisins By The Pound Mail Order Brides, Grooms, And Ushers Become An NHL Star Overnight Learn Swedish While U Sleep Top Selling Come-Ons Popular Bowling Bloopers Discount Buttered Popcorn Safe Memory Implants Wholesale Vegetables Online Bootleg Jay Leno Reruns Legal Hair Extensions Used Jokes Cheap Visit Beautiful Spuzzum Delicious Corn Lose Weight Fast. Dump Your Boyfriend Nerd And Geek Personals Curb Road Rage Without Using The Finger Hair Falling Out? Buy A Hat! Online Multiplayer Minesweeper

 

  

Join Our Mailing List
Send This Story To A Friend
This fictional story about satire is intended for adults.   The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire.
Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment.