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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR E-COMMERCE HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
It's about damned time someone decided to approach me about my needs for a complete campaign management system solution. Didn't any of these other so-called digital marketing services recognize my deficiencies in strategic portal relationships and my obvious lack of enhanced analytical services? I guess not. Were these other motherf*ckers sleeping? Damn it woman! I needed a solution that mirrors my god-damned paradigm, not some hokey half-assed interactive profiling scheme. I should've slapped someone. Can you believe I went all this time without proper fundamental buying capabilities, and no god-damned optimization methodology? I might has well have been throwing darts at a donkey. I don't know where'd I be without someone giving me the right promotional assistance for my rhetorical disposition. They were able to point out that my achievable quotients weren't leveraging in a preferred vector. That's some f*cked up shit. If you'd have asked momma, she would have said my rigorous lateral analytical methods were on-target. But you know what I'm talking about. But let's not lose sight of our attainable material objectives here. I obviously didn't have the right innovative affiliate strategies in place, and my prospecting initiatives were totally compromised, given my tenuous foothold in the marketplace. I should've known that. Let's just say, that now, with the right professionals giving me a deliverable operating venue and a proven structured convention, that I will be kicking some marketing butt. Cecil is
about to go mainstream on your ass.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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Business and E-Commerce Solutions from Cecil Sechelles
