| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
 by
Fubrics Short
It is with joy that,
sitting in my tower here on the slopes of the river, close to the Parliament
buildings of Ottawa (that's the capital of this fair land of milk and
honey for those not in the know), that I hear the glad tidings that our
cousins to the South, our friends who share the world's longest undefended
border, West-Coast fisheries aside, will be coming to our aid and burying
Sarnia, scourge of the earth, under a mountain of American waste, much
of it abominably toxic, unsafe for children and cattle, undoubtedly containing
earth from Love Canal and the untreated cores and port-a-johnnies from
Three Mile Island, among other foul substances, that will teach those
nickel-mining barons and bourgeois ne'er-do-wells, who denied my own father
a job in nineteen-hundred-and-thirty-one, they'll get what they deserved,
finally, the smell of rotting PCBs and whatnotall, as wholesome American
apple-pie waste disposal companies take advantage of lax Provincial (that's
what we call states up here in the frozen waste-lands of the North) laws
and the much cheaper Canadian dollar, slightly different from the American
dollar in colours, and yet worth much less, to excrete their loads, dump
their hazardous waste on that wasted city, leaching toxic chlorinated
solvents and other vicious chemicals to finally wreak ruin and revenge
on a city that could not ask for more
fubrics@thetoque.net
Fubric's Archive
|
