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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
I just have one question girls...where can I get myself a robotic Jude Law lover?!? Of course, he would have to play 80's music, including the theme song from Endless Love. sigh. I knowing I was humming "Hey Jude" for the two-plus hours I spent watching him. But seriously, if it wasn't for Robo-Jude, I'd have probably walked out of A.I.: Artificial Intelligence. This movie had more icky touchy-feely stuff than a weekend "Friends" slumber party.. Haley Joel Osmond really gave me the chillies. First of all, he doesn't even LOOK like an Osmond. Check out his teeth. They really need to get some fresh blood in that family. I really would have thought technology would have advanced far enough that you could program your robots with remote controls, or at least a mute button. And not once did I see a battery change. I just don't get these movies sometimes. I don't remember seeing any product placement. I mean come on! If everyone got together and put their ads into movies (and television), we'd never have to watch commercials again! If I was one of the producers here, I would have snuck in an Energizer bunny in the background. I thought the special effects were mega-meh but all of the robots, sans Jude, were ultra-grotty. And I think the little Ewok robot was possessed. It was so creepy-eerie that I had to sleep on my futon last night, and abandon my bed to my Beanie Babies. The story was easy to follow; it's Pinocchio! Except I don't remember seeing any aliens in the Disney version. Oh wait, maybe the Pinocchio In Outer Space one. The other differences were quite obvious. No Jiminy Cricket robot, and no donkeys. And Haley Joel must not have lied, because his nose didn't grow an inch during the whole movie. Even the frozen parts. They really should have explored the Gigo-Jude character more. I think a love scene or two would have brought us closer to who that robot really was, and what made him tick. Or even, just a shot or two without a shirt, to demonstrate the superficiality of robots, and to show us the delicate nature of man's venture into artificiality. It wouldn't have hurt! In the end, though, I guess Mr. Spielberg gave us what he could, from the whole Kubrick thing. I only saw like twelve minutes of The Shining, and 2001: A Space Odyssey is obviously a geek movie, so I can't really compare A.I. to his other work. So, if you
listen to Shirley, you might be better off spending that $11.50 on moisturizer,
instead of this moisture-maker.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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by Shirley Eugeste
