Canadian Tire Dollar Reaches Record Low

OTTAWA-- Foreign markets, a fluctuating European economy, and a shortage of barbeque equipment have all been attributed as determining factors in the recent drop of the Canadian Tire dollar.

This graph is very pretty indeed. It shows how the value of the Canadian Tire dollar is deflating.

The Bank of Canadian Tire, headquartered in Toronto, refused comment. Analysts say that the decline in the dollar is likely to continue. Until recently, the bank's strategy for dealing with the dropping value of its colourful money has been to print more.

The plan backfired.

"I used to be able to buy a mini-socket set with a fist-full of Canadian Tire notes," said Elliott Whitezit, a customer since 1959. "Now I need an over-flowing wheel-barrow to get a tin of car wax."

"All the conditions were in place for a weakening of the dollar," said Reuben Magyeski, currency strategist at Deutsche Bank Securities in London. "The whole emerging-markets situation may have been the catalyst for a long-awaited return to reality. This is a market correction not unlike the Monopoly money crash of 1972."

In 1972, the Parker Brothers money was so devalued it wasn't worth the paper it was printed on.

Safeway's and Save-On-Foods' points cards, not to mention the ubiquitous Zellers' Club Zed points card have also contributed to the decline of Canadian Tire dollar. Plastic cards are perceived as being more "sexy" than paper.

"It's part of the whole 'new economy'," commented Mr. Magyeski. "I mean, who carries around cash anymore? Everything is paid for by plastic: debit cards and credit cards, including Canadian Tire's own credit card. Pieces of paper are perceived as 'old-school', something grandma would carry along with her sachets of lavender."

Canadian Tire money has also been confused as complimentary bookmarks. "I thought it was a little odd," said Mathilda Enterwhist, who had just purchased a set of 4 double-A batteries for her pen flashlight, which she had also bought at Canadian Tire. "They don't even sell novels. Why would they give me a bookmark?"

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