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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
NORTHERN ENGLAND-- History reports that "flames lit up the night sky as the English burned thousands of innocent animals in the great war." That horrific event in the dark winter of 2001 still burns fresh in the minds of many who recall the senseless tragedy, searing away in their thoughts like so much sirloin on a barbecue.
But will others will claim that the Cattlecaust was an imaginary event? Time is relentless. It hacks away at our memories like a crazed butcher, and hazes our past the way a cold Budweiser does on a Sunday afternoon. History is shaped by the victorious, and only the terrified few who witnessed and survived are able to present their own version of events, terrible scenes that are blazed into their souls as from an iron-hot brand. It would be sad indeed if our orators and teachers, the respected tutors of our children, did not tell of the madness, the disease called war that blazed across the English countryside back in February, seemingly only a few short months ago. It is but a small instant in our brief history on Earth, way back in the earliest times of the twenty-first century. Time washes away our memories, and fewer are left to describe the tales of horror, a deadly yet delicious beefy smoke that drifted through the English skies--a savoury yet forbidden temptation that wafted through cities like the smells from a diner's grill. But it is a dangerous trend, steering the course of man through safe waters, protecting the species by diminishing the records of history, hoping to forget the dark shadows of our past. Yet it is these same glaring omissions that may come back to bite us in the rump, as we are doomed to let history repeat. It behooves us to at least try and remember. It may be again, some time in the distant year of 2002 that the world may visit again upon the cattle the same devastation that fell upon them in that time when man perhaps lost its barbecued innocence, its pureness of soul, ground up like so much hamburger. What is at
steak, you ask? Why should the absence of one or two links in the sausage
of mankind be so important to our future? Perhaps time will tell.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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