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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR RELIGIOUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Many people have asked me how they too can profit from biblical prophecy. God's Word as revealed in His Holy Book details with unfailing accuracy all that has been and will come to pass. With the Keys To Understanding developed by me and plenty of prayer you too can reap the benefits of His Wisdom. This week we will examine the Book of Nehemiah, and show how God has revealed His Plan for Free Cash Grants you will never have to repay. Nehemiah is in the Old Testament, and to the uneducated eye appears to be about Nehemiah rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. I say the uneducated eye, for while of course the text is literally true to the last word, using my special Keys to Understanding we can decipher the meanings and prophecies that God has placed in this text for those of us who have these penetrating insights. Chapter Two, verse one states: "One day four months later, when Emperor Artaxerxes was dining, I took the wine to him." How are we to interpret this? Through a series of mathematical, scientific processes I don't have the space to reveal here, we arrive at the following phrase: "You can receive the money you need." All of this thoroughly documented and entirely scientific. It is completely true! Verses four and five continue: "The emperor asked, "What is it that you want?" I prayed to the God of Heaven, and then I said to the emperor, "If Your Majesty is pleased with me and is willing to grant my request, let me go the land of Judah to the city where my ancestors are buried, so that I can rebuild the city." Applying the scientific Keys of Understanding I have developed over the past 15 years we come up with the following phrases: "Start your own business... college for you or your family members... Every day millions of dollars are given to people just like you!" These are just three phrases of one chapter of one book in the Holy Bible. Imagine the wealth awaiting those who hold the Keys of Understanding, scientifically developed and clinically proven to provide new insight to the Immortal Word of God. I leave you with the interpreted Chapter 12, verses one through seven, which ordinarily seem to list the priests and Levites who returned from their exile in Babylon to Nehemiah's new Jerusalem: "Your
Government spends billions of tax dollars on government grants. It doesn't
matter where you live, your employment status, or if you are broke, retired
or living on a fixed income. There may be a grant for you! This money
has to be given away, why not to you? Grants from $500.00 to $50,000.00
are possible.
Evan Gilleste's Biblical Archive
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Biblical
Prophecy: How To Make It Work For You
