| |
|||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR RELIGIOUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to know what stock prices will be? Using God's Word, as revealed in His Holy Scriptures, you can! It's as simple as using the simple, easy to understand Keys of Understanding to reveal God's Plan for the World. This week we will examine the Book of Hosea, and how God Wills for you to examine undervalued energy stocks. The Book of Hosea is in the Old Testament. Of course it is a very literal documentation of the troubled times of Israel before the fall of Samaria. Every word is true, do not doubt it. But God, in His Infinite Wisdom, has also hidden his Plan for the World inside this text. Let's examine a verse: Chapter One, verse 2 reads: "When the Lord first spoke to Israel through Hosea, he said to Hosea, 'Go and get married; your wife will be unfaithful, and your children will be just like her.'" Applying the Keys of Understanding, a series of refined, scientific mathematical processes too detailed to go through in this short space we can decode this phrase to read: "Is it possible there's an Oil & Gas company that is trading at $3.00 a share that has PROVEN reserves that would value the stock at $35 a share?" This simple verse will make you money! Chapter 14, verse three reads: "Assyria can never save us, and war horses cannot protect us." Using my Keys of Understanding, developed over the last 15 years, we come up with: "Everybody knows undervalued stocks are the place to invest. But what about undervalued energy stocks?" All of this is thoroughly documented and entirely true! These are just two disjointed verses of one Book of the Holy Scripture. Imagine the Wealth of Information God has hidden in the whole Bible! Imagine what it could mean to you! I leave you
with Chapter 12, verse 10, as interpreted by these special and unique
Keys of Understanding: "What about energy stocks when California
is running out of electricity generated by Natural Gas and gasoline is
reaching all time highs? Want a very surprising answer?"
Evan Gilleste's Biblical Archive
|
|||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |