| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
 by Fubrics Short
It is with mild approval that your faithful scribe, esconsed as he is
in his tower high above the Rideau Canal that flows past our fair capital
of Ottawa, a vantage point that allows him to survey far into the deeds
and doings of the multitudes of this great land, poised above all as he
is, can see the actions of Toronto and its bid for the summer Olympics,
an enterprise doomed to failure say some, especially after some unfortunate
comments by the mayor about being boiled in a pot in Africa, he really
should know better, these things are best muttered as if they were a joke
to people of your own colour, and we all know they prefer their meat roasted,
they are not barbarians like the English who will boil anything into a
soggy mush, the thought makes me shudder, and yet, and yet I feel that
there is still hope for the campaign, the artists of speed running through
the streets in support, and more importantly, the Olympic Bid Committee's
decision to follow the Chinese example and execute people to demonstrate
their eagerness to host the games; this scribe can not but feel a certain
pride and swelling of the heart at the nobleness of this gesture, the
Olympic Bid Committee hauling the less fortunate who live in the street,
the petty thieves and the gypsies off for quick disposal, I do not know
what sort of fire arms they are using, or if the ammunition was bought
at Canadian Tire, but I hear they may up the ante on the Chinese and start
shooting anyone who can't run the mile in less than five minutes, thus
making Toronto the Good truly a city of champions and worthy of hosting
this important international event
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