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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR TELEMARKETING HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
DAYTON, OH-- Gary Wood likes to walk through the call center at the Wellington Group's telemarketing department announcing to his agents: "Today is a FANTASTIC day!"
Gary likes to keep his telephone representatives hyped, and leads them by example. "A happy team is a productive team," says Gary, who has commanded the telemarketing program for the past nine months. As the telemarketing sales manager, Gary is also responsible for maintaining morale and enthusiasm within his sixteen person team. Gary sets goals and rewards every week, and has no problem sharing the success and congratulating his team when they meet sales targets. It's that special attitude his people bring into the office which makes them all winners. "It's not important what happens outside this call center," says Gary. "When you're in this room and on the phone, I want to hear nothing but positives." When Gary asks his team members how they feel, he wants to hear them say: "Gary, we're FANTASTIC!" "Go Gary," says Diane Merkel, one of Gary's team leaders. Gary encourages his staff to leave their personal feelings at the door. "What's outside, stays outside," repeats Gary. Gary himself wasn't phazed at all, when earlier in the week his cat "Fritzy" urinated on his Egyptian cotton bedsheets, the urine soaking through to his Sealy mattress. "Fritzky is a fantastic cat," was all Gary would say. Gary wasn't the slightest bit upset when his '89 Ford Fiesta was rear-ended on Friday, and he had to throw the rear bumper into the back seat. "It didn't bother me at all," said Gary. "It was a great, great day to be working." Gary didn't even show a trace of negative emotion yesterday when his wife of six years said she was leaving him for a young aerobics instructor at her gym. "I know everything was for the best," said Gary. "I'm at right as rain." And today Gary didn't lose his trademark smile when senior sales executive Kent Garrett walked into Gary's office and fired him on-the-spot for not making sales quotas for the fifth straight week. "I'm fired?" asked Gary. "But we had a super-duper spring and a fantabulous start in June!" "Awe
this sucks," he finally admitted spitefully.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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