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Would you believe me if I told you that God has a plan for you to make at least $500,000 every four to five months for as little as $25? It's true! Using the Keys of Understanding and a little common sense you too can have the riches of Job. This week we will examine the Second Book of Samuel, and how God commends you to allow your financial dreams to come true. The Second Book of Samuel is in the Old Testament, and naturally follows the First Book of Samuel. While literally, and entirely truthfully, the book is about David's reign as King of Israel, there is a special message hidden inside by God. It's waiting for you to discover. Let's look together: Chapter Twelve, verse 24 states: "Then David comforted his wife Bathsheba. He had intercourse with her, and she bore a son, whom David named Solomon." Applying the Keys of Understanding, a series of refined, scientific mathematical processes too detailed to go through in this short space we can now read this phrase as: "Order all five reports listed below. Send five dollars cash and the name and number of the report you are ordering." Solomon's wisdom has never been simpler! Chapter sixteen, verse five reads: "When King David arrived at Bahurim, one of Saul's relatives, Shimei son of Gera, came out to meet him, cursing him as he came." Using my Keys of Understanding, developed over the last 15 years, we can now translate this as: "Within days you will receive each of the five reports from five different individuals." The Keys of Understanding are scientifically proven to unlock God's Word and help you earn well-deserved riches. We have looked at just two verses of one Book of the Holy Scripture. Imagine the Wealth of Information God has hidden in the whole Bible! Imagine what it could mean to you! I leave you
with Chapter 17, verse 15, as interpreted by these special and unique
Keys of Understanding: "Dare to think for a moment what would happen
if everyone or even a quarter of those 10 people mailed 100,000 or more.
Believe me, many people will do just that, and more!"
Evan Gilleste's Biblical Archive
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