| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
 by Fubrics Short
It is with the sounding
of warlike alarum that your humble scribe, perched in his tower high above
the Rideau canal overlooking the fair city of Ottawa, the capital of our
country (for those who may not be entirely familiar with the geography
of our country), and from this vantage point can escry the coming doom
of humanity, the reduction of variety in our race through cloned babies,
eliminating the warp and woof of random variation, eliminating, no doubt,
the occassional genetic error, but also giving us a country of Stockwell
Days (the leader of Her Majesty's Loyal Opposition, and a buffoon, for
those who have not been following the political events, exciting as they
are, that have been unfolding in recent months here), men who seem like
giants when they are first met, full of promise, men who say that here,
at last is change, real change, and for the betterment of all, not some
rehashed crony from days gone by, stale and leaving a faint bitterness
on the tongue, best forgotten, but someone who gives us hope, and then,
inevitably, the crushing reality of political corruption, the corrosion
of values, the certain and ineluctable deflation of their perceived worth,
like a month-old party balloon, which grows not with time, like our noble
former Prime Minister Lester Pearson, now looming like a God over the
ethical landscape of the ruinous parliament buildings -- bring him back,
I say, bring him back by cloning, let us create an entire parliament,
and senate too for the love of God, an entire political system of Nobel
Peace Prize-winning statesmen, men who will bring more flags and honour
to this nation, far out of proportion to its size and power
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