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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
SOUTH ATLANTIC OCEAN-- A call of "naked mermaids!" led to a near-disaster on a Petrobas oilrig in the South Pacific Ocean, and the incident has prompted a ban on everyone-rushing-to-one-side-at-once.
The oil rig, owned by the Petrobas Oil Company from Texas, is stationed near the Bikini Atoll. Loneliness and isolation are common problems for the men who work the here, thousands of miles from the nearest whorehouse. Edward Longbone was cleaning the pipes at 10:30 Wednesday morning when he heard the call. "The loudspeaker came on and this guy was shouting 'naked mermaids, there's naked mermaids to the East'," he recalled. "Well, of course I just had to go and have a look. I've only seen mermaids a few times and they've always been rather coy. I've only rarely seen a glimpse of their [breasts], and never anything else, not even a fin." Longbone and 463 of the 469 other men aboard rushed to the East side of the oilrig. Four men were sleeping and the other two are generally considered to be gay. The sudden movement shifted the crucial balance maintained by keeping the men evenly distributed around the station, and the far mooring to the West was snapped loose from the ocean floor by the tension. The rig started to tilt. No one fell
off, but Captain Abraham Goose had to order everyone back to their posts.
"The danger in a situation like that is everyone instinctively runs
to the other side," he said. "The last thing we needed was to
snap the East moorings. Especially after the disappointment of not seeing
the naked mermaids, or any mermaids at all for that matter."
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| This fictional story about mermaids and oil rig disasters is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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