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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR RELIGIOUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Did you know there may be a sack of gold buried in your very own backyard? Or a few gold coins hidden somewhere in your apartment? You can uncover these treasures using the Holy Scriptures and the simple, easy to understand Keys of Understanding that reveal God's Plan for YOU. This week we will examine the Book of John, and how God Wills for you to search for the gold right beneath your feet! The Book of John is in the New Testament. Of course it is a very literal documentation of the life and times of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. But God has also, in His Infinite Wisdom, hidden his Plan for You inside this text. Let's examine a verse: Chapter Nine, verse 22 reads: "It was winter, and the Festival of the Dedication of the Temple was being celebrated in Jerusalem." Applying the Keys of Understanding, a series of refined, scientific mathematical processes too detailed to go through in this short space we can now decode this phrase to read: "Strike a course due North for 15 paces to Dead Man's Eye." Are you excited yet? Verse 23 continues: "Jesus was walking in Solomon's Porch in the Temple, when the people gathered around him and asked, 'How long are you going to keep us in suspense?'" Using my Keys of Understanding, developed over the last 15 years, we can now understand the meaning as: "Turn to Port and continue for the length of a yard-arm." All of this is thoroughly documented and entirely true! These are just two verses of one Book of the Holy Scripture. Imagine the Wealth of Information God has hidden in the whole Bible! Imagine what it could mean to you! I leave you
with Chapter 18, verse five, as interpreted by these special and unique
Keys of Understanding: "Run a gimlet through the left socket of the
skull down two fathoms to the beach. Strike off Starboard for 15 paces
and dig me hearties!"
Evan Gilleste's Biblical Archive
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Biblical
Prophecy: How To Make It Work For You
