rock climbing climber
rock climbing climber

CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE

Text Ads and Text Links on The Toque
Text Security Cameras
Humor TopSites
Biting Satire
Funniest Jokes
Super Duper Pages Directory
Online Golf
Dating Women
Bowling
Diet Weight Loss
Apartments For Rent
Home Equity Loan
Fucked Up Link Dump
Electric Bikes
Learn English
Free MP3s
Funny Pets
Home Garden Centers
Canada Travel
Funny Signs
Good Canadian Website
Free Emoticon Smiley Generator
Really Bad Hair
Womens Health
Poker Gaming Sites
I Have To Confess
Cel Phones
Refreshing News
Rewarding Loans
Car Insurance
Lying Scumbag
Pet Names
Free Website Games
Myspace Layouts
Wacky Videos
Puzzles And Stuff
Text Link Advertising
Modest Houses
Language School
Start Your Own Cult
Evil Guide
Grouchy Joe Proud American
Bachelor Tips
Domain Under Construction
The Lord Above
Virtual Web Log
Nude Pictures Of Jessica Simpson
Geek Jokes, Computer Jokes
Funny Baby Pictures
Adult Jokes
Funny, Strange, Bizarre New Stories & Pictures!
Daily Humor, Satire, And Funny Stories
Advertise Text Links on The Toque
 

rock climbing climber
Focus Is The Key To Rock Climbing--Hey Look, A Bunny!

SQUAMISH, BC-- Cindy Lapierre knows the importance of paying attention: she once lost a good friend who became distracted by lip gloss colours while rapelling down a stone cliff.

"She took her mind off the task at hand for just a few moments, just enough to ask me if I thought apple-green was better suited for eye colour than bruised-plum," said Ms. Lapierre, an avid rock climber. "I said apple-green, she nodded, and then her piton fell out and down she went."

rock climbing climber
Cindy Lapierre remains entirely focused, concentrating only on the mountain, and definitely not on her telephone bill or her dinner party.

"I learned an important lesson that day," Ms. Lapierre continued, "You have to concentrate on rock climbing. Now I choose my lip gloss and eye-liner before I go climbing."

Focussing on the rock while climbing is critical affirms Ms. Lapierre.

"Each of those cracks and crevices is important. I ask myself, climbing or descending, which ones are big enough to put a toe in without marring the fine suede finish? Is my moisturizer effective enough to keep my skin from becoming dry and cracked like these rocks? Will this crevass support my weight? I've been on this slim-so-fast diet for a few weeks now so soon I'll be re-assessing what that 'weight' actually is, and, of course, you never, never, actually tell your climbing partner, especially if its a man, you know what they are like, what your real weight is."

"Of course, perspiration is a big problem on the cliffs," she continued, "but you can't think about it! I keep my arms down, and wear colours that don't show when wet. Remember, antiperspirant is your friend. But put it on before you hit the ropes."

Ms. Lapierre has a few tips for beginners.

"I've never been a big fan of the gloves myself. They hide your nails, and I have nice slender fingers, it's a shame not to show them. Gloves are essential though to keep your hands soft and prevent callouses. They also grip the rope better, and you can usually find a pair that will match your boots. That could be important for the photos."

"Consider a tied-back look for your hair. I try to tease a few strands out while descending, but don't take too much time at it! You want to keep a certain casualness to your style."

"Rockclimbing takes a heavy toll mentally," Ms. Lapierre finished, "and beginners should prepare their minds for the challenge by thinking ahead to the after-climb get-together. Planning is everything!"rock climbing climber

rock climbing climber

Archived Stories

 
Advertise on The Toque for $30/month
Raisins By The Pound Mail Order Brides, Grooms, And Ushers Become An NHL Star Overnight Learn Swedish While U Sleep Top Selling Come-Ons Popular Bowling Bloopers Discount Buttered Popcorn Safe Memory Implants Wholesale Vegetables Online Bootleg Jay Leno Reruns Legal Hair Extensions Used Jokes Cheap Visit Beautiful Spuzzum Delicious Corn Lose Weight Fast. Dump Your Boyfriend Nerd And Geek Personals Curb Road Rage Without Using The Finger Hair Falling Out? Buy A Hat! Online Multiplayer Minesweeper

 

  

Join Our Mailing List
Send This Story To A Friend
This fictional story about rock climbing is intended for adults.   The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire.
Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment.