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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
SQUAMISH, BC-- Cindy Lapierre knows the importance of paying attention: she once lost a good friend who became distracted by lip gloss colours while rapelling down a stone cliff. "She took her mind off the task at hand for just a few moments, just enough to ask me if I thought apple-green was better suited for eye colour than bruised-plum," said Ms. Lapierre, an avid rock climber. "I said apple-green, she nodded, and then her piton fell out and down she went."
"I learned an important lesson that day," Ms. Lapierre continued, "You have to concentrate on rock climbing. Now I choose my lip gloss and eye-liner before I go climbing." Focussing on the rock while climbing is critical affirms Ms. Lapierre. "Each of those cracks and crevices is important. I ask myself, climbing or descending, which ones are big enough to put a toe in without marring the fine suede finish? Is my moisturizer effective enough to keep my skin from becoming dry and cracked like these rocks? Will this crevass support my weight? I've been on this slim-so-fast diet for a few weeks now so soon I'll be re-assessing what that 'weight' actually is, and, of course, you never, never, actually tell your climbing partner, especially if its a man, you know what they are like, what your real weight is." "Of course, perspiration is a big problem on the cliffs," she continued, "but you can't think about it! I keep my arms down, and wear colours that don't show when wet. Remember, antiperspirant is your friend. But put it on before you hit the ropes." Ms. Lapierre has a few tips for beginners. "I've never been a big fan of the gloves myself. They hide your nails, and I have nice slender fingers, it's a shame not to show them. Gloves are essential though to keep your hands soft and prevent callouses. They also grip the rope better, and you can usually find a pair that will match your boots. That could be important for the photos." "Consider a tied-back look for your hair. I try to tease a few strands out while descending, but don't take too much time at it! You want to keep a certain casualness to your style." "Rockclimbing
takes a heavy toll mentally," Ms. Lapierre finished, "and beginners
should prepare their minds for the challenge by thinking ahead to the
after-climb get-together. Planning is everything!"
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