CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE

Text Ads and Text Links on The Toque Text Security Cameras Humor TopSites Biting Satire Funniest Jokes Super Duper Pages Directory Online Golf Dating Women Bowling Diet Weight Loss Apartments For Rent Home Equity Loan Fucked Up Link Dump Electric Bikes Learn English Free MP3s Funny Pets Home Garden Centers Canada Travel Funny Signs Good Canadian Website Free Emoticon Smiley Generator Really Bad Hair Womens Health Poker Gaming Sites I Have To Confess Cel Phones Refreshing News Rewarding Loans Car Insurance Lying Scumbag Pet Names Free Website Games Myspace Layouts Wacky Videos Puzzles And Stuff Text Link Advertising Modest Houses Language School Start Your Own Cult Evil Guide Grouchy Joe Proud American Bachelor Tips Domain Under Construction The Lord Above Virtual Web Log Nude Pictures Of Jessica Simpson Geek Jokes, Computer Jokes Funny Baby Pictures Adult Jokes Funny, Strange, Bizarre New Stories & Pictures! Daily Humor, Satire, And Funny Stories Advertise Text Links on The Toque

by Shirley Eugeste

This whole weekend has been a total waste. Do not get me started.

Okay, so not only did Karen not get me that job at Banana Republic like she promised, she also ditched me for some malt jockey she met in the food court.

So once again, I am left hanging. My entire life seems to be a support network for my friends that can be unplugged any time they want.

And then, I am supposed to have this review written for Rock Star, which I never even got to see.

So what am I supposed to do? Write about the trailer? Give you my double-icky rating of Mark Walhberg? Seriously, I think I should just get my act together.

It doesn't help that I'm alone most of the time. I haven't had a boyfriend since I broke up with Greg, and no, we will not mention the blind date I had with Simon the embalming assistant. I still haven't forgiven Megan for that.

I drive a Honda Accord with a broken CD player. I don't own a pair of jeans. I listen to Duran Duran.

Where are my priorities!?

I think I'm going to have a small talk with my editor. I have these really great reviews for movies that I've rented from Blockbuster, but no one wants to read what I would write about Head Over Heels, or The Family Man. That is so last month. If I didn't have to foot my own cinema ticket...

And that's another thing. I may not be from Rolling Stone or Entertainment Tonight, but you'd think at least I could get some media credentials for a preview. I would almost cry if I had on waterproof eye-liner.

So, sorry to you all if you were expecting some witty remarks about how frumpy Jennifer Aniston was going to look in Rock Star. I think I'll just take this week to sort out my life, and maybe see if Karen will still give me her staff discount.

Shirley's Archive