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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR LAUNDRY TAI CHI HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
SAN JOSE-- Alex Heung, Tai Chi master, has discovered that combining the ancient Chinese series of moves with his Coin-Op Laundry is allowing him to clean up. Many laundromats, in an effort to attract customers, have offered rock 'n roll music, daytime television, or Donkey Kong and other electronic games, but none will help rebalance life the way Tai Chi can. "There's no ancient secret to inner peace and clean shirts," said Master Heung, through an interpreter. Master Heung will not speak or think English because of its unbalanced rhythms. "You need hard work and discipline for both."
"My customers are my students," said Heung. "I ask them to focus on cleanness of thought as well as of cleanness of clothes. The triple-load washing machines will provide a 'supreme ultimate' cleaning force necessary to cleanse and purify, but a proper warm-up is essential to allow the Tao to bend the Chi force that flows through everything." Alex Heung learned Tai Chi as a child from an old man in San Francisco he refers to as one of the Immortals, and started the laundromat business ten years ago. He combined the two art forms a year ago to the delight of his clientele. "I've found the serene environment helps foster the circulation of chi within the body, and the special soaps Master Heung provides circulate through my dirty clothes, ridding them of the stains of my rigid lifestyle," said Mrs. Ingrid Holmenstresser, a regular client and avid student. "I feel healthier too. Feel this bicep!" Master Heung uses the new triple-washers as an inspiration to students as they practice the set of moves. "Look at the way your clothes gracefully tumble through their cleaning process," he told one client as she struggled with posture on the difficult Step 89: Carry Wet Towels To Mountain. "Such precision and grace in automatic washing machines has never before been done. Imagine the destructive energy and dirt leaving your body tissues and valuable cottons." "You have captured the necessary rhythm of movement," he approvingly told another client practicing Step 32: Tiger Crouches In Socks. "This is so important when ridding negative stains. The gentle flowing cycles will dissipate the filth, or send it in a direction where it will no longer be a danger to you or your undergarments." There are
108 cycles in the wash. Practiced enough times students will learn humility,
patience and inner strength. "We practice a philosophy of fundamental
earthly values," concluded Master Heung, "except when we must
use bleach."
Archived Stories - Human Interest
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| This fictional story about laundromats is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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