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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
SELKIRK, MANITOBA-- Log River, long known as one of Canada's "natural wonders", continues to astound its visitors every year, in many ways typifying the scenic Canadian wilderness.
For many years Log River, along with the historic lighthouse, has been one of the main tourist destination sites near the hamlet of Selkirk, Manitoba. Month after month, the entire river flows logs. Lumberjacks, woodsmen and tree-huggers are all overwhelmed by the limitless flow of logs. "Log River is one of Canada's premier natural tourist attractions," said Richard Andrews, the Federal Minister of Tourism. "Oh sure, you hear a lot about Niagara Falls, Hell's Gate, and that big ice field up north. But really, everyone I know still talks about the amazing river that flows logs. I've got a few pictures myself." Sweeping through the verdant countryside, Log River has a force of its own as close to 1,000 cubic metres of wood a minute float downstream, knocking aside beaving dams and crushing small-mouth bass and carp with sweet-smelling cedar, crisp hardwoods, and fibrous bark. Log River has not always been seen as a natural wonder. There have been sporadic attempts to harvest the logs since 1832 when Meachem Gibbs set up a sawmill. The river's flow was too strong and Meachem gave up the attempt four years later to go gold-panning in the Yukon. Today there are a handful of small mills where the river empties into Lake Winnipeg. There was also a brief attempt to dam the river in the 1960s, but the natural force of thousands of logs jamming into the concrete blocks forced the effort to be abandoned. "Some things just can't be tamed," said Mr. Edward Pease, Minister of Energy at the time. "Let the majestic river flow free!" Log River was declared a marine park in 1975. Wood not
harvested flows into Lake Winnipeg, and from there through a variety of
rivers and over portages into Hudson's Bay. Eventually many of the logs
reach the Atlantic ocean where they become driftwood, wandering the seas
before coming to rest on isolated beaches--in some cases thousands of
miles from where they grew as trees.
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