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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR ROMANTIC HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
TOULONS, FRANCE-- Henri Aubin is expected to be home early tonight, as his wife Joliette has promised that he will "get some" if he brings back plenty of wine.
Although Henri likes to stay out until 2 or 3 in the morning playing petonque, a variant of bocci, and drinking pastis with "les gars", marital duties often force him home early. "My Jolie is very, very passionate," says Henri. "She cannot get enough of me. Sometimes I am almost too tired to go to work." Henri restores antique furniture for Alain Dufresne, who owns a shop in town. His wife, Joliette, believes sex is important for the relationship, but maintains it is Henri who initiates it. "Henri is a tiger," she said. "He brings me home a dozen flowers, sometimes roses, sometimes daisies. It is always different, always a surprise. I am instantly aflame. He knows how to treat a lady like me just so right. I stick to him like gun-glue." Tonight Henri thinks that the special lady will deserve a special wine. "I think perhaps Sylvain's home-made would be a good choice. He owes me a bottle or two. I'll get a baguette and a good ripe camembert. Not that cream-merde you find in the super-marche. That's not cheese. The night will be perfect." Joliette has her own preparations. "While Henri is at the market, I will make myself more pretty for him. I will comb my hair, and I may take a bath. Maybe. And the music I will have playing will be Funese. Henri likes Funese." Joliette is glad that her children live in Nice, and seldom visit, giving them more time to make passionate love. "My children, I adore them, but oh the interruptions. When my daughter Claire and her children were here to visit, I was almost driven mad for my desire for Henri. I could not wait for them to leave." "Sometimes
I wish the children would visit more," says Henri. "It is only
those times when I get enough rest from the sex. And where am I going
to find oysters?"
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