| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
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Fubrics Short
It is with a sense of surprise that, esconced in my tower at the edge of the Rideau Canal, and dependent as I am on the Parliament of this great country to debate the issues of the day, keeping me informed on important events and opinions, this instrument of democracy was not brought to bear, like a great horn or trumpet to sound out the response of the federal government, instead, being called back into session only a week after the events of September 11, only then did this well-intentioned scribe find out about the attack on our neighbour to the South, I am afraid I do not watch the television, nor do I listen to the wireless, I prefer the news first-hand, that is why I chose to live in the capital of this fair country and not Sudbury, and so my information on the first attack on American continental soil, so I am informed, since the war of 1812, when Canadian troops under the British flag burned their capital, I was only a young lad at the time and heard about it from uncle Archibald, again and again, often after he had drank a pint of gin, his stories becoming more and more incoherent as the evening wore on, alas, he is no longer among the living to parlay to me current events, and so I am reliant, perhaps overly so, on the sessions of parliament to keep me informed on what is important, although Hansard does not drink gin, but parliamentary debate is often incoherent, there is the same warm sense of family as the opposition harangues the Party in Power, but now I feel betrayed by the lack of discussion, as if we were no longer inviting the in-laws over for a dinner of greasy mutton: should there not be debate before we send our young men to the fields of Belgium and France, into the trenches against the Enemy and their mustard gases, should there not be discussion among all the parties before our Nation's farmers from the Territory of Assiniboia are sent to fight Boers in defence of Queen and Country?
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