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This Friendly Ghost Can Finally Be Put To Rest

OUTSIDE LONDON, ENGLAND-- At last, one of cartoon's mysteries can finally be put to rest. Yes, after all this time, the grave of Casper the Friendly Ghost has been found.

Casper's skull is unearthed outside London. Inset of cartoon representation of Casper.

After years of speculation by animated archaeologists and experts of the children's occult, a team of amateur historians unearthed Casper's remains.

"It was after watching that horrible film that came out a few years ago that we decided that Casper deserved to put to rest," said Mr. Oswald Thorpe, one of the group. "I can't even remember the name of the film. Wasn't it just called 'Casper' or something?"

Relying on modern medical science to analyze the representations of Casper the team decided that when alive the friendly ghost probably suffered from neuro fibromotosis (Elephant Man Disease), causing his swollen head.

"Sadly, he was probably a circus freak," said Mr. Thorpe. "He may have died as a child, or, perhaps he was retarded. We searched a century's worth of hand-bills of circuses looking for a bald, retarded big-head with only three fingers."

"We finally found one. A character named Bill Berghoff, who also went by the name of Buddy. He was the main attraction of the Midland of the Greater Alphonso Circus--right after the sword-eating snake-man."

The Greater Alphonso Circus toured Western England and Wales between 1871 and 1892.

Finding out what happened to Bill "Buddy" Berghoff wasn't too difficult. Accused and convicted of stealing one of the acrobats' ponies he was hung and buried just outside of London in 1890. He maintained to the end he was trying to help the pony find its mother.

Mr. Thorpe and his team dug up the mass grave of executed criminals. "There, right on the edge, was one skeleton with a massive skull," said Mr. Thorpe. "We just knew it had to be his. Just like the cartoons he was on the edge, not part of any group. We drove three stakes through the chest and pumped a dozen silver bullets into the skull. He should rest in peace now, poor soul."

Mr. Thorpe plans to turn his attention to Casper's enemies, the ghostly trio and his enigmatic cousin Spooky.

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