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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Does the lunchroom door have a sign on it that says "Lounge"? To answer that before something smarmy comes out of your mouth, I'll say that no, it doesn't. I put a clock in there for a reason. It even has big black numbers with big black hands, so that even god-damned Henry, who is 84, can tell when his break is over. I didn't realize, however, that I should have to explain to you slackers that your break ends when the little hand is on the ten, and the big hand is on the nine. You think it's okay to bleed the company. You take your morning break at 10:28 or 10:29 and then lazily return to work at 10:46. You think that profits are so high, that the company can afford to pay you to have a 17-minute shit. Why not just take an extra wipe afterwards on us? It's alright, we'll just get research to invent some innovative new product that'll make us so much money that the entire warehouse could take craps from 8 until 4. If you don't realize that I'm being sarcastic, perhaps I should introduce you to Mr. Pay-reduction. Now, I am a reasonable man, and if you were to say, show up at 7:59 on occasion, I could let this go. Or if you stayed until 4:31 or even 4:32 to help with clean-up, I'd be inclined to look the other way. But I haven't seen any kind of commitment from your crew since Bert Entwistle came in on Good Friday--and he didn't even know it was a bloody holiday. It's time
you realized that this isn't a bed and breakfast. If you don't wise up,
you may be looking forward to more than an extended coffee-break. The
next time I won't sound so nice. I'll be serving you shit on a biscuit
and calling it marmalade.
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