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INFORMATION:
editor@thetoque.com EDITOR: editor@thetoque.com ADVERTISING: editor@thetoque.com COMPLAINTS: feedback@aol.com |
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TUESDAY, OCTOBER 30TH, 2001 | LAST WEEK
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28-Year-Old Declares Last Year Of Trick-Or-Treating SURREY, BC-- Dave Bruce has announced to his friends and family that this will be his last year of trick-or-treating. The 28-year-old gas station attendant feels that he is approaching that uncomfortable age where others will begin to question his maturity.
Dave said that he may extend his trick-or-treating route this year to maximize his Hallowe'en candy intake, and is also thinking about canvassing the Guildford Mall, where merchants will be handing out treats.
Roman Candle Fights Just Aren't The Same Anymore ISSAQUAH, WA-- Dwayne Schaeffer remembers when fireworks packed a punch, and his parents warned him of their dangers. Dwayne misses those days when screechers could knock your sister over, and a roman candle fight could send you to the hospital with second-degree burns. "The last roman candle I fired didn't make it over the house. It's just not fun anymore," said Dwayne, whose wife Debbie picked up two "Schoolhouse" fireworks on her way home from shopping yesterday. "I think I'll just stay inside and watch Cheers repeats,"
said Dwayne in a somber voice. The Toque is published every Tuesday, and hasn't missed a deadline to date. The Toque is not associated or affiliated with any other publication or vegetable. All of our stories are original and written by our own staff.
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Thrifty Hallowe'en Shopper Gets Headstart On Next Year CLEVELAND-- The smart Christmas shopper starts her Xmas shopping on Dec.26th. The best deals on wrapping paper, ornaments, and greeting cards are always to be found on that day when stores are practically disposing their unsold Christmas merchandise.
"The best candy is bought on November 1st, and it's less than half-price!" said Becky, mother of two, and part-time daycare worker. "Most of the chocolate treats I can freeze until next October, and that Hallowe'en toffee never goes bad." Every year, Becky is also able to get great deals on Hallowe'en party supplies, costume make-up, and other spooky paraphernalia at a fraction of the pre-Hallowe'en cost.
Aboriginal State Of Affairs BRITISH COLUMBIA-- The Department of Indian Affairs has been asked to look into the increased number of aboriginals who are cheating on their spouses. While most natives are stating that their affairs are none of their affairs, the government is insisting that these affairs are affecting the beauroacracy in the affairs dept. The early numbers suggest that aboriginal males are responsible for initiating fifty-percent of these affairs.
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"There's
nothing like free candy," said David. "But, I'm starting
to feel a tinge of guilt. It may be time to retire the Scooby
[Doo] costume."
Becky
Wright feels the same thriftiness can be applied to Hallowe'en shopping.
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Goth Girl Caught In Headlights |
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RUSTY
CALLIHAN
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GAMER
DEWD
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FLOYD
BARBER
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