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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
It was 3pm and the Telup Wiring Corporation's corporate citizenship committee was closing its monthly meeting. Eight people on the committee were anxious to get back to their real jobs when Nancy Windsor from marketing spoke for the third time. "I really don't understand why we haven't tried doing something with the Christmas party," she said. There as an audible sigh and a sinking of bodies back into chairs as the meeting continued on for another half-hour. The institution of the "special committee" in business is popular because of its convenience for corporations. Often struck to organize Christmas parties, corporate citizenship functions and other items peripheral to the main task of "raking in bucks", they serve as places for marginalized members of the corporation to express and empower themselves. "I don't know what the big deal is," said Nancy when I spoke to her. "I've worked here at Telup for 14 years, ever since we were bought out by that big outfit from out East. I've volunteered my time for this committee several times, my ideas are always ignored, and I see everyone shaking their heads and acting like I'm an idiot or something." "I'm not an idiot," she continued, "I have ideas and I think they deserve to be listened to--like doing something fun for the citizenship committee at the Christmas party." I thanked her for her time and quickly moved away. I had already sat through the committee meeting. Nancy Windsor is the Junior Coordinating Assitant to the Secretary of the Marketing Manager. Her main functions include photocopying reports and filing press clippings. "We like to have people like Nancy on our Corporate Citizenship Committee, the Christmas Committee, and the New Employee Welcome Committee," said Hubert Brown, the Director of Human Resources. "Basically these clerical workers are poorly paid, and by giving them some sense of power, however limited and ridiculous, they're content to continue working long hours at minimum wage doing demeaning, dehumanizing and dreadfully dull jobs." "They feel important," confirmed Ted Birmingham, Vice-President of Production for the Southern Division. "By deciding whether the summer picnic will have chicken or salmon, or how to get more donations for the annual charity gift drive, they feel they actually have a say in the operations of the company. Of course nothing could be further from the truth. But I'm happy to leave them to it--as long as they don't have too many meetings on company time." It's a tricky balancing act for corporations: maintaining special committees, encouraging employees to become involved in them, but also limiting the amount of time spent on them. Telup seems to have succeeded. They have six to eight special committees throughout the year, each with at least six members, and none costing more than the time committed to a monthly meeting. None of Telup's
senior management is on any of the "special committees."
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by
Burt Umbre
