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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR E-COMMERCE HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
I bet you wouldn't believe it if I told you that I may have up to $7,000,000,000 (that's seven billion) in unclaimed moneys in bank acccounts, wills, insurance settlements, overpaid tax bills and estates. That's a whole lot of misplaced cash, I'll say that for sure. I know it may be a little far-fetched. Cecil, is it possible that you have that much money lying around unclaimed? Well, you know I may have left a few dollars here and a few dollars there. And we all know the magic of compound interest, don't we? Heh, it's a good thing that I was contacted by these people running this payment transfer systems disbursement unit. I would have certainly not have remembered I had that much money floating around waiting for me to claim. It is just my good fortune that they e-mailed me at this particular juncture; I was about to invest some of my capital into another sure-fire business venture that I was going to share with you's all. I guess we'll just have that much more of the good green stuff to spread around. The mere $49.95 for each search is a pittance compared to the return I'll get. Bring it all back home! Now I know what you're probably thinking; Cecil, if it's possible that you have seven billion dollars lying around waiting for you to consolidate into your proper holdings, is it possible that there may be some unclaimed money with my name on it? Well, I don't want to disappoint you, but let's be reasonable folk here. I'm sure you're a very enthusiastic business enthusiast. But we all know that you don't have Cecil's acute sense of business insight, and it's not your fault. Lord knows, I wish I could pass on this gift of financial success to everyone I met, but we all know that that is a false hope. It's better that you keep your goals simple at this point, and concentrate on making the right quick investment. There may come a time when you are ready to play the game at Cecil's level, but for now, let's stick to the basics. In the meantime,
while you're analyzing some of my recent successes, I'll work out how
I'm going to divest the seven billion.
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