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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
Hi, my name is Frank Herschel. You probably remember me as Captain Electro. From 1971 to 1978, I was the heavy-weight number-one evil genius champion of the world. I held the UN hostage twice, and if it wasn't for those meddling kids I would have taken over the world not once or twice, but three times! I've been retired for a number of years and now I have an opportunity to pass on some helpful hints on how you too can become an evil genius bent on taking over the world. Over the coming weeks we'll go over everything--from the clothes you wear to your affected accent, and from blackmail strategies to the best way to use robots and orbiting death rays. Of course, you don't become an international evil-doer overnight. It took Ming The Merciless years before he had instilled the right brand of fear into his quivering minions. You'll have to do lots of hard work and have a sprinkling of luck. Villainy begins with the first step towards evil, and with some basic advice I will help push you over the edge. Let's start with attitude. Are you completely and truly evil? This is absolutely essential for success. You just can't take over the world by being considerate. Remember this is about YOU, not about making a better place for everyone or helping some unfranchised group. Vengeance is a good motivator. Take some injustice that's been done to you long ago. The longer ago the better. Remember Batman got his motivation from when he witnessed his parents getting killled as a boy. I know he didn't become a super-scoundrel, but he could have been. Once you have the proper motivation and evil attitude you need to project what a horrible person you are. You want to instill fear in people. Start with an outlandish hair-do and some sort of tic or deviant behaviour. By standing out you will be easy to remember. People will say "Who? Oh, the guy with the clipped moustache who was constantly wringing his hands? Yeah, he was bad." Work on your maniacal laugh. It is a bit of a cliche now, and not, strictly speaking, essential, but is still useful. Andropov never laughed, but then he didn't last very long did he? The more tools you have the better off you'll be. The laugh also lets people know you have a sense of humour and helps at both putting your allies at ease and scaring your enemies. Don't forget to fly into a frenzy over innocuous things. Unpredictability is your best friend. The key is to constantly surprise your friends and enemies. Remember: you are BAD. These few
hints will help get you started on the road to international infamy and
villainy.
Captain Electro's Archive Of Evil Tips
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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A
Step By Step Guide With Former Evil Genius Captain Electro
