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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR PUBLISHING HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
TAMPA BAY, FL-- Phil Klatt has spent the last three years living life to the fullest, and then writing all about it. Phil's first book, entitled "My Life", has just been released and is a fascinating tale full of wild adventures and mischievous hyjinx. But, unfortunately for Phil, sales are dreadfully poor. At a recent booksigning in the Blackberry Books store in the Flamingo Mall, only four people bought his book, and three of them thought he was actor James Brolin.
"I really don't understand it," said a despondent Phil at the end of the day. "It's a good book, a classic--and I'm not just saying that because I wrote it. My editor at Hyslop Publishing told me it had 'potential'. People should be lining up to buy it." Phil recounted his work, trying to consider what may have gone wrong. "I went out and did interesting stuff for three god-damned years! I even kept a journal so I wouldn't forget anything good, and then wrote this lively anecdotal account. It's got everything in it! Chapter three has a thrilling account about the time I drove nearly twenty miles with my gas gauge showing 'empty', and chapter four has a funny story about the time I dug a ditch just outside of Ocala. I even have a sexy bit from this time I nearly picked up a hitchhiker outside of Miami, but I won't say any more--you'll have to buy the book!" Phil blames the marketing plan from Hyslop Publishing for the poor performance on Saturday. "They really should have run ads in the paper," said Phil. "It took me a while to find the bookstore down at this end of the mall, and there was only this dinky sign outside saying 'author signing'. What kind of publicity is that?" "It didn't help that it was this close to September 11th either," continued Phil. "I think people are more interested in serious stuff right now. But I'm still surprised. Who wouldn't want to read about me and a gas station attendant getting drunk close to Fort Myers? Now that's a funny story." Phil was not amused to be confused with James Brolin for three book sales. "You know something is wrong," said Phil, "when someone actually buys the book and then says they liked how I acted in 'Traffic'. Now that's an insult. Does it look like I'm married to Barbra Streisand? They really should have run that ad--and with a big picture of me." "I don't think they did a good job with the book cover either," continued Phil. "This drawing looks too artsy. They should have had a picture of me with a good-looking babe. That would get people's attention! Next time I'm going to look more carefully for a publisher that will spend more time with properly promoting my material." Phil gave away several signed copies to family members, and even dedicated the book to his ex-wife Gloria. Willard Wong, Phil's editor, is more optimistic about Phil's book. "It's a good effort for a first novel," he said. "I strongly advised him to change the title to something more sexy like 'Heroin in the 'Hood', but Phil felt it should be more descriptive. Well, who am I to argue--he paid for it." Hyslop Publishing
specializes in self-publishing authors.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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