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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
INSIDE THE CLUB-- Nightclubs are sometimes unfairly given the reputation of being solely a place to pick up women. People call them "meat-markets" and think that men are there just to select partners for indiscriminate sex. But Rick Taylor is different. "The Rickster" cruises the bars looking for women's phone numbers--just their phone numbers.
Rick has been going to clubs alone, and with friends, for the past seven months, since Laura Turney broke up with him in the spring. At first, Rick's friends admired him for his boldness and courage, daring to face rejection. But after a few weeks they thought it particularly odd that Rick would never dance with any of the women he talked to, buy them drinks, or leave with them at the end of the night. "It's like those catch-and-release fishing shows," says Rick. "I can get women to give me their [phone] numbers, but I've never actually called any of them. That's not the point." To Rick, the bizarre practice is like an approval rating system. "Yes, definitely the more numbers the better. But having them write on your palm is no good," said Rick. "There's no way to keep track of those, no proof. Plus my hands generally get really sweaty, and that's not good for The Rickster." Some of the women in the clubs have caught on to The Rickster's game, and now handle his approaches more casually than before. "Yah, I tell my friends it's okay to give their phone numbers to that Rick guy," said Cindi Potyrie, a regular at the clubs. "They know he won't call, and most of the time they just make up the numbers." Rick's friend, Doug Sutter, thinks that Rick needs to quit playing games and find himself a nice girl. "Rick has to quit doing this to himself," said Doug, who has known Rick longer than Laura did. "He's not impressing anyone. He should just call one of these girls and start dating again." "Doug is just jealous," said Rick. "He was picked up by the first girl who said 'hi' to him. It's been two years and he's still going with the same woman. And Daryl, my best friend, is worse--he goes home with a different girl every time. With that approach, there's no way he could ever get as many phone numbers as I do." Rick's wallet is crammed full of business cards, cocktail napkins, and beer coasters. In his apartment he keeps a large jar on his coffee table filled with phone numbers he has acquired over the months--a sort of trophy case that he shows off to everyone that visits. "Yah, I'll show the jar to Brett and Shannon, Mike and Cathy, or Jim and Linda," said Rick. "When Kevin drops by, he just shakes his head. But then, Kevin's been in a long-term relationship since before time began, so he just doesn't understand." When asked
about her ex-boyfriend's reasons, Laura just laughed.
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