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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
DEMING, NEW MEXICO-- Victor Valemont spends his days tramping the hinterland of New Mexico. In an area of the country that has its fair share of unusual characters Vic stands out because his only companion and friend is a vulture he calls Carrie.
Victor is known by the locals as Vulture Vic. Vic befriended the vulture, a lesser yellow-headed vulture, after saving it as a chick from the jaws of a coyote. Since then the two have developed a deep bond. They are inseparable. "I can't count the number of times we've saved each other's skins," said Vic as he stroked the neck of Carrie. "The land out there is unforgiving. If you're alone and you slip and hurt something, that could be the end of you." "This one time, when I had broken my leg after I fell down a ravine, Carrie saved my life. She swooped above me so the rescue team could spot her from the air. As night fell she stayed by my side and even tugged at my ears to keep me from falling asleep. And then, just as I was passing out from the pain and fatigue she pecked at my eye. That woke me up in a hurry." Vic has a glass eye to remind him of the devotion of his vulture friend. Vulture Vic has also saved Carrie from certain death at the hands of poachers several times. There is a black market for vulture feathers, and their feet are used in illicit Asian medicinal products. Vulture Vic and Carrie carry on a subsistence existence, scavenging food and used auto parts from the wilderness. "I made the decision years ago that I couldn't do the office or nine-to-five thing," said Vic. "I got to be out in the open air, feel sweat in my boots and the hot sun on my neck. Still, it's nice to have a companion, and that friend for me is Carrie." "During the day Carrie will fly far overhead. When I see her making circles I know there's going on down on the ground, so I'll swing on over. Usually it's a lost dog or an injured gopher or something. If I'm fast enough I'll hit it with a stick and that's our dinner. Sometimes it's a dead cow or crow or something. I used to be squeemish about that, but going for a week without food cured me of that in a hurry! If you cook it enough and add enough chillis it don't taste too bad." Carrie even sleeps with Vulture Vic. "She likes to nibble at my toes," said Vic. "I think she's just showing her affection." When asked if he would ever return to civilization, Vulture Vic said: "I doubt it. We're too happy out here." While Vic
carried on, Carrie kept her protective watch over Vic, as faithful any
companion man has ever known.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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