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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
UNIVERSITY OF WASHINGTON-- Mark Engel sometimes has a hard time expressing his love to his girlfriend Debbie Richmond. The two university students have been dating since freshman year, and are often spotted studying together in the campus library. Yesterday, Mark got up enough nerve to write his feelings on paper, but when he gave it to Debbie, he hadn't anticipated that she would correct his spelling and grammar, and hand it back to him.
Mark, who is a science major, has only taken a couple of English courses, and they were in his first year. He spends much more time doing labwork than composing letters, essays, or reports. Debbie is majoring in journalism. "I spent two hours pouring out my heart onto that letter," said Mark, 20. "Had I known Deb was going to pick through it, I might have had someone spell-check it for me first." Mark feels that grammatical integrity is secondary to honest emotion. "I wrote what I felt, without regard for proper English diction," added Mark. Debbie, who hopes to work in magazine editing someday, was more critical of the love note, and thinks that a proper composition implies respect for the reader to whom it was intended. "Marky knows that I'm picky with both my writing and my proofreading," said Debbie, who is also 20. "He knows that I get turned on by eloquent language and word structure. A simple re-write of this letter would make it more endearing to me." Mark also wondered if she wanted it double-spaced and printed in a standard font on 20-lb paper. "Well, it would definitely be better than the yellow notepad paper he used," said Debbie. "I wouldn't have made a big deal of it, had he not crossed-out the paragraph where he compared me to Athena, and scribbled in a part about how my lips tasted like Cherry Pepsi." Debbie admitted later that she was just kidding with Mark, and that she really did appreciate the love note. She also sometimes has difficulty sharing her emotions with Mark, and finds it easier to express herself playfully to him. "Mark needs to know I was just kidding," said Debbie. "I was just teasing him a little. However, it wouldn't hurt to tell him that it's rose 'petals' and not 'pedals'." Despite the miscommunication on the love letter, the two were able to laugh about it afterwards. "I think I'll just give her flowers next time," said Mark sheepishly. "As
long as he doesn't screw up the note," chuckled Debbie.
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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