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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR CROP CIRCLE HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
MONTANA-- Crop rectangles have been cropping up in wheat and barley fields across Montana this Fall, leading to speculation about whether they are the result of alien invaders, hidden natural forces, or just plain skullduggery.
Often referred to as "croptangles", the marks are similar to crop circles that have been reported in the British press since the 1980's. Instead of being circles or complex geometric formations, however, these American cousins are simple rectangles. The shapes are formed when the grain is laid flat to the ground in a pattern best seen from the air. "You sure can't see them from the ground," said Ed Bartlett, a farmer from near Missoula. "This area is flatter than a flap-jack. You'd have to climb to the top of a silo or an electrical tower to get a decent view." "I don't really know how you'd describe them," continued Bartlett, who has many croptangles in his fields of spring rye. "They're perfectly symetrical... like a square that's been stretched, or maybe a circle that's been flattened and has four corners." Sometimes the markings go from one end of a field to another, almost as if someone ran a tractor over the field. There are many theories to their creation, but none are able to satisfactorily explain exactly how they are made. Video footage has shown small bright balls of white light, in broad daylight, moving in pairs through the croptangles. The objects seem to move with purpose, suggesting intelligence is at work. "This could only be the work of the Reticulan Greys," said Hammond Stringer, a researcher into paranormal phenomena. Reticulan Greys are believed to be aliens from the star Zeta 2 Reticulum in the constellation of Orion. "It's a side effect of their trans-galactic travel through Dimension X. I'm working on a system of communicating with the patterns through meditation and sound recordings of dolphins." Others disagree. Dr. Henry Imsobad has done research which suggests that some sort of microwave energy is stored in the grain. When the right conditions are met the energy is released in a single burst, laying down straight lines. "You wouldn't want to be at the end point when this phenomena occurs," said Dr. Imsobad. "But if harnessed properly it would be a cheap alternative to fossil fuels." Whatever
is causing these mysterious croptangles, it is sure to inspire conversations
in Montana well into winter.
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