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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
AT THE RANGE-- Archery is a disciplined sport where an athlete uses patience and a keen eye, fighting against wind and gravity to strike an immobile target some 50 yards away. But archery enthusiast Kent Chou wants something more. Kent wants to hunt "live" targets.
"It would be really neat to be able to actually kill something," said Kent, who has been shooting arrows at non-moving targets for five months, since he took up the sport. "Shooting at paper targets is okay for practice, but I need something more. This is going to get boring pretty quick." "I don't know
about hunting animals though, that's not really exciting either. They
can't fight back. What we really need is some kind of human hunting thing,
like that island of that doctor. I think it's Dr. Monroe or something." "Or how about some kind of retro-war? Like the Huns. Man, they had it great," said Kent. "They lived out on the plains, and shot enemies from the backs of their horses. That must have been sweet. It would be just like Age of Empires, but a lot better. I can see myself picking off Hungarians and Poles." Kent then practiced taking out an imaginary Russian serf trying to revolt. "Or what if we were in 11th century England? I could knock off rabid Celts with a sturdy yew longbow. Or fight off Moors or something! Man, I'm living in the wrong time!" "I wouldn't want to be at Agincourt though. I heard they got hungry and barely made it back. That's not for me. I like the feasting thing too. You got to be able to have a good feast after a battle. They probably had a good feast after they picked-off Braveheart. That's what I want." "I'm not into the Robin Hood thing either... I'm not wearing green pantyhose. That's for dweebs." None of Kent's
friends were willing to volunteer to do the "William Tell" thing.
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