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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR CHESS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
MISSOULA, ID-- The Missoula Chess Club boasts some of the best chess players in Idaho, and their social committee has put on some of the best organized events in the state. But, some of the chess club members wish that they could get women to join, so that their social functions could be somewhat more enjoyable.
Kent Flouston, president of the chess club, is forty-one and divorced. While he enjoys spending "non-chess" time with his fellow club members, he has been wishing lately for a little more "female company". "Sure, hanging out with the chess club guys is great, to a point" said Kent, who has been playing chess competitively for over fifteen years. "But there is only so much male bonding I can do with these guys. You'd think at least one of them knew some girls. Our club could use a queen or two." Missoula came in third last year at the state chess championships in Boise and so the team celebrated back home with a party at Reynold Forrester's house. But team members were disappointed at the lack of dancing partners, or females in general. "It's a little disappointing for sure," said Reynold, who is twenty-two and still single. "I had hoped that at least one or two of the guys would have invited some girls. And I did mention the party to my several of my female co-workers beforehand, hinting to them that there would be some pretty smart guys there, but it seems they were all busy that Saturday night." The chess club has put on several fund-raisers, the latest being a car wash held at the local Esso station. Unfortunately the revenue from the car wash was lower than they had expected, and the lack of females was blamed. "Having girls at a car wash is half of the attraction," said Rupert Festler, the Missoula Chess Club treasurer. "Sure, everyone wants to get the salt off of their cars, but it's that much more fun when women are participating. Sorry, but seeing Reynold in a wet t-shirt is definitely not going to help business." Kent agreed that having some female members would certainly improve the popularity of his chess club, and he wonders why chess isn't that popular with them. "I thought women were into stimulating mental activities," said Kent. "I'm not sure why women don't play chess, although I did hear a rumour that the club in Idaho Falls had a female member." Rupert thinks that maybe women are too busy to spend time in clubs. "Well, I'm also in the Missoula Dungeons and Dragons Consortium, and I can tell you that there are no women in that either," said Rupert, who works at the local comic book store. "I'm pretty sure that the Missoula Magic Gatherers is all guys, as is the Missoula chapter of the Diplomacy club, and the Missoula City Unreal Tournament Clan." Rupert's
fantasy is to play "strip chess" with a girl.
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