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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
But how do you start such an ambitious project? How can you convince the unwashed masses that you are not just another crank? What kind of political structure do you set up for your Heaven On Earth? How do you deal with challenges to your authority--authority you received directly from On High? These are some of the questions you will be facing after the warm glow of Revelation and Epiphany have worn off. To help get you started on your way to creating a genuinely sustainable cult and all the International Recognition and Adoration of Thousands that comes with it I've been asked, no, Commended to your Guidance. After you've received your Message(s) and have your Orders from the Unnameable, where do you start? Many Leaders of the Faithful believe finding the appropriate headquarters for your group is as good as any. A good location is critical for proper development of your human resources, funneling of psychic energies and proper Worship without disturbance from the Outside World. The proper location can mean the difference between operating for years without hindrance and being busted in a week by the forces of Evil--whether they are diguised as Government, Military, or Friends and Neighbours. Of course, as you are just starting, you may have to be content with your mother's basement for a few years until the cash flow can justify the expenditure, but keep an eye out and start planning for your eventual Compound. Factors to keep in mind for your eventual location will vary depending on the Revelation you received, but here are a few things to keep in mind. Look for sites on magnetic meridiens for better channelling of Telluric Currents. Do not worry about being too far from Jerusalem--I have received a prophecy that God will be destroying it in a few years anyway. Places out of the way seem to last longer than inner-city locations--but inner-city locations allow for a higher membership growth. You may have to make a trade-off. Some groups start off in the city and then move once they've reached a critical mass. The Kunrath Caerdroia group has a unique approach: they'll develop an inner city site for months and then disappear, leaving all but their hard-core members out in the cold. They'll then start again in another site, far away from where they last were. This approach isn't for everyone, but shows what is possible. Don't forget about defense. It is possible that Satan and his Minions will lay your Temple under siege. Of course the Lord will protect you and crush your Enemies, though they be Legion, but don't leave it all to Him. Make sure your location is on higher ground so you can see the FBI when they come trotting up. Walls are good, but if they aren't there don't despair. You (or your faithful) can build those, and add the barbed wire and gun placements on top. A well or some other source of water is a good idea too. I personally like the idea of having one main entrance, and then a secret exit that only you know about. When my cult was leaving this Vale of Tears I received a sudden Message that Now was not My Time--I still had Work to do. If it wasn't for the secret exit that only I knew about the feds would have nailed me. It may save you too. Location
is an important factor for your cult. I hope this brief essay has given
you a few ideas to think about.
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Starting
Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus
