| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
 Advice from Helena Aunde-Bague
It is almost that time again for you to be lavishing me with many of the
flowers and the candies. Oh, you know I so much appreciate all of the
lovely cards and the greetings that are deserved with the Valentine's.
Many of you are so
generous to me, especially this close to after the Christmas. I cannot
almost barely believe that you would go to your bank again so soon for
another loan--just to be sure that Helena has something nice.
Do not be so upset
if you do not spend many small fortunes on me this year. I am not expecting
a percentage of your GNP, although the prince he was so sweet last year
to do just that.
For me, just to receive
something of material at all is enough of a present from you to me, and
shows to me how much you are still caring for me. To have a hundred Greek
masons carve my beautiful face into marble and restore the ruins of an
Athenian temple to place it in is certainly nice the once, but I do not
expect so much each time.
I will not
think any less of you for how much you spend on me this year. It will
only affect your ranking on my list of potential husbands. But it is such
a silly list anyways. I should just throw it away, and let everyone start
from the fresh.
Helena's Archive
helena@thetoque.net
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