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Biblical Prophecy: How To Make It Work For You
by Evan Gilleste

Readers of this column will be familiar with the marvelous opportunities that God has provided, through his love for you, in His Holy book, the Holy Bible. Yes, God does love you, and is putting silver shekels on it--and into the pockets of those who can read between the lines of the Holy Writ.

Using a few easy to understand Keys of Understanding and a little common sense you can decipher God's messages to you and reveal the knowledge that has remained a secret until now. You too can have the riches of Job.

The Bible already contains the wisdom of the ages, as well as the True History of the Earth, and for readers of Revelations, a stirring account of what will come to pass. But did you know that God has also carefully and accurately written in His special code results from the major sporting events?

It's True! Using the Keys to Understanding, a series of mathematical formulas developed over the last 15 years, you can unravel the mysteries of the ages. You will know when to cheer for the underdog, and when to jump on the bandwagon of the winning team.

More importantly, you can use this information for betting and profit.

Let's look at an example. Joshua is in the Old Testament and is literally and truthfully the story of how Joshua led the Israelites to conquer Canaan. However, God has also written in the future successes and tribulations of the Toronto Maple Leafs as well.

Chapter 6, verse 2 states: "The Lord said to Joshua, 'I am putting to your hands Jericho, with its king and all its brave soldiers.'"

Using the Keys of Understanding, which are too complex to go through in this brief space we can decode this message as: "Toronto takes the cup in 4." Is that the Stanley Cup in 1932, 1962, or 2002? Perhaps it's the World Series in 2102! We won't know until further analysis of the data and statistics God has so graciously provided.

The Keys of Understanding are scientifically proven to unlock God's Word and help you earn well-deserved riches.

It's all here: the NFL, the CFL, the American League and the Negro League. Curling Bonspiels as far back as the eye can see, as well as the Japanese Professional Soccer League. All here, waiting for you to discover and exploit.

We have looked at just one verse of one Book of the Holy Scripture. Imagine the Wealth of Information God has hidden in the whole Bible! Imagine what it could mean to you!

Evan Gilleste's Biblical Archive

 
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