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Kent Fukuzura, Making Science Simple


Here's a good April Fool's joke that is easy to set up, using only the kitchen microwave, and yet is endlessly amusing.

Microwave ovens are a quick source of powerful electromagnetic fields that can be used for all sorts of interesting projects. The US military used microwaves to knock out Iraqi communications and radar devices during the Gulf War, and you can use them to play a good practical joke on your friends' cell phones, PDAs and other electromagnetic devices.

What you'll need:
Mother's microwave oven is all we'll need for this project. Make sure she won't be using it for a few days as you'll be modifying it. After you're done with the joke don't forget to put the oven back together, or she may not let you borrow it again! If you can get your hands on a second-hand oven, that would be even better. Sometimes you can get a really good deal on one that is being thrown out because the owner thinks it's broken and can't fix it! Often the door latch is all that's broken, and as you'll soon see we won't even be using that.

Methodology:
We're going to set the electromagnetic generators in the oven to point outside, focusing on an area approximately 10 feet from the oven door. First, disable the safety mechanism that prevents the microwave from being turned on when the door is open. This is usually part of the door-latch.

Carefully remove the inner lining of the oven (don't break it as you'll want to put it back later) and re-align the antenna transponders to redirect in a three-point fashion out the door. You'll want the lines of electromagnetic energy to be focused a a spot about 10 feet out in front and about head-high. Your unsuspecting guests will not even be aware of the weapon being pointed right at their heads!

Next, create an activation mechanism by using one of the newer remote controls that can control any TV or VCR. With a few modification to the logic board it can also be set up for the microwave. If you prefer a hands-off approach and have the inclination, you can also set up an infra-red beam that will automatically start the microwave whenever someone walks into its path.

Test out your transmission lines with a marshmallow or other object that's easily affected by 1GHz to 1THz wavelengths. Make sure the microwave is set to the "high" setting.

Now, the next time your friends are over and one them uses their cell phone in the kitchen, surreptitiously press the "Play" button and their signal will be replaced by static! If they have any metal on their heads, like jewelry or earphones, you can also set off small ball-lightening storms or perhaps even a burst of plasma.

Hints: I recommend putting a dish rag in the cavity of the oven to allay any suspicions. Now it just looks like your cleaning an ugly burrito stain. Have fun!

Kent's Archive of Science

 
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DISCLAIMER:

Kent's column is intended for amusement purposes only. Never tamper with microwave ovens, never brush your teeth with phosphoric acid, and never use your personal teleporter when there's a housefly trapped inside the pod with you.

 

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