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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
What are some of the things that keep your people from achieving enlightenment quickly, easily and permanently? Sexual desire has to be right up there. This can be a touchy subject. I'll be quite frank: sex can be very useful for binding people to your Revelations and Visions, but can also tear your subjects away from You and Your Inspiration. How can you control these animal urges--not only in yourself, but in your followers as well? The answer is surprisingly simple. Castrate everyone, except, perhaps, yourself. Before you start however, let's examine the role sex and sexual feelings play in your Received Vision. Some cults have found that a "free-love" and "multiple partner" ideal useful in breaking down the conditioning that the Devil or Evil Forces have enforced on humanity since the beginning of time. Other cults believe that all sexual desires are the Work of the Dark One(s), and repressing or removing them is the only True Path to Wisdom. There is no one right way here, it all depends on Your Vision. What does your Received Enlightenment tell you? I've used both ideals in the several groups I've been involved with. With the Angels of Divine Mercy we used to all sleep together in one room. Not only did it keep the heating bills down, but it also allowed the brethern to keep an eye on each other to make sure no one was allowing sinful thoughts to enter their minds. Another good trick we had was to force cold showers on everyone at irregular times of the day or night. When everyone is underslept and perpetually cold it's hard for the Devil to do his Work! Eventually, however, even under these conditions carnal thoughts can creep in. The Devil is clever! Some of my flock started to enjoy and look forward to the showers and ritual humiliation in front of the others--and not because they felt they were being cleansed of Evil and Filth. If you are ready to take your People to the next level and help them remove the physical cause of their mental anguish and torture you'll need a strategy to accomplish this without causing mass defections or infections. I recommend you perform the operations yourself. Your power will be enhanced, and not diluted through anyone you may delegate to the task. Also, you'll be able to make sure that everyone is properly operated on and their mental and physical needs are met. A good idea is to make it a group event. Use a mood-enhancer like ecstacy so everyone is in a loving mood and all together for support and courage. Don't leave anyone alone where they might start to question your Wisdom. Castration
is a powerful tool that kind bind your group to you and to your Received
Vision. And don't forget, testicles are full of iron and other minerals.
Don't waste the protein!
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Starting
Your Own Cult, with Dr. Emeril Lazarus
