| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
 by
Fubrics Short
Imagine the shock
and surprise that reverberated through not only my drafty garret perched
precariously as it is on the uppermost floor of the staid tower overlooking
the fair Canal that graciously flows, although not at this moment as it
is covered with a bed of grey ice, grey and cold like the icy winds that
course from the Northern Territories, the North Western Territories, rich
with beaver and other resources waiting for intrepid entrepreneurs to
trap or trade from the various native peoples, peoples that until recently
heeded the beck and call and the law of these United Provinces of both
Upper and Lower Canada, as well as those other provinces that have recently
been admitted into Confederation, imagine the surprise I was saying, that
these peoples, the first nations of our great nation, having been glued
and mortared into the mosaic that is our great bilingual country, and
lovingly placed inside museums and galleries, held out as an example of
cultural richness and tolerance, except, perhaps for Louis Riel who we
hung for his insolent acts, and perhaps also the Beothuks who were hunted
to extinction, but that was long ago and also the exception that, perhaps,
prove the rule of tolerance and acceptance, and now this claim to title
to these insignificant islands to the West, the Queen Charlottes, I can
not remember at this moment who Queen Charlotte was, or why she would
want to have them, wet as they are, perhaps it was for the clams or the
sea otter pelts but now they are being wrested from Confederation, much
as the southern bit of British Columbia, following the course of the raging
Columbia River, was wrested from our hands by those impertinant Yankees
under the arbitration of Kaiser Bill, may he rot in Hell, wrested from
us, clams and pelts and other valuable resources that, by right should
be brought to enrich and enliven our lives here at the Centre of Confederation
in our fair city of Ottawa, it's not fair I cry, are they not content
to have their artistic works hanging here in our Museum of Civilization?
Fubric's
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