 |
 | |||
|
|
| |||
|
|
 |
 |
|||||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR BASEBALL HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
MESA, ARIZONA--As a warm-up to spring training, the Oakland Athletics played an exhibition game with the San Lorenzo High School Sparhawks. The A's defeated the teenage squad 84-0 in a fun-filled afternoon baseball match.
The entertaining and enjoyable game was played before 1,200 spectators, consisting mostly of family, friends, and schoolmates of the Sparhawks. Sparhawks starting pitcher Tyler Brighton, 16, lasted one-third of an inning, giving up 36 runs on 38 hits, while walking 2 and hitting 2. Tyler threw 46 pitches and got his only out when Jermaine Dye stepped on home plate swinging at a curveball. Dye ended up with 14 runs scored, including one on a close play at the plate where he had to plough over Sparhawks catcher Cindy Kerrison, the only female on the team. Kerrison dropped the ball, and Dye was safe on the play. The A's added another 48 runs in the second inning, including 29 home-runs. Jeremy Giambi accounted for 9 of the home-runs, incluing three left-handed, three right-handed, and three using a souvenir mini-bat. Left-hander Mark Mulder pitched two shutout innings for Oakland, getting the win for the team. Mulder threw a perfect nine pitch inning in the first inning, but needed ten pitches to finish off the Sparhawks in the second inning. Mulder finished with six strikeouts and a perfect two-inning no-hit game. Mulder would have had two perfect innings, but used a 94 mph fastball to brush off the clean-up hitter, young Tony Higginbottom, 17, who was apparently crowding the plate. The shaky teen went down on strikes three pitches later. The fun ended after only the two innings, as the umpire called the game on the 80-run mercy rule, much to the disappointment of both teams. "This was a good test for our boys," said Oakland's skipper. "I think it was good that we didn't let up over those two innings. Those [San Lorenzo] kids really stuck it out, and we admire them for it." The Sparhawks' manager, Thomas Pendleton, was proud of his team. "My
boys gave everything they had," said Pendleton. "But by the
looks on their faces, I could tell they were honoured to have had their
asses kicked by a professional baseball team."
|
||||||||||||||||
 |
|
|||||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |
