| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
CHINATOWN-- Herbert Huang has been working at the Special Clean Chinese restaurant for two years, and is now the senior dishwasher. Herber loves is job, but his problem is that he still feels the sensation of rubber on his hands even after work has ended.
"I try to caress the smooth skin of my bride, Xiang-Zhou, but I feel nothing!" said an enraged Herbert. "I doubt I could feel the grit of rough sandpaper, even if I walked on my hands over a mile of it." Herbert suffers from Phantom Glove Syndrome (PGS), a not-so-rare affliction that affects people who work in tanneries, fish factories and restaurant industries. Housecleaning staff, dishwashers, as well as customs agents, are especially prone to this disease. They wear rubber gloves for many hours at a time, affecting their tactile senses. Dr. Tse-Ling Phan, a senior orthopaedic advisor and sensory deprivation specialist at the Centre for Medical Advancement at Harbourview, believes that PGS-afflicted men and women can be helped. "Think of a PGS sufferer as someone with perpetual dishpan hands," said Dr. Phan. "The irony of the situation is that their hands are never really in contact with the water directly. But still, because of the sensation-depriving qualities of the gloves they use with the work, it has the same effect--only without the wrinkling." "The only sensation available to the fingers inside these gloves is a soft talc," said Dr. Phan. "Ordinarily it feels very pleasant, but don't forget the only part of the body with more nerves than the hands is the face! Without any contrasting tactile-sensory textures the senses become numb and no longer feel anything. It is as if the brain decides to turn the nerves in the fingers off." Preliminary studies have shown that PGS sufferers may compensate for lack of feeling in their fingers with enhanced feelings in other parts of their bodies. "Mr. Huang should try touching his (lovely) bride with his feet," said Dr. Phan. "He may have a pleasant surprise!" PGS is not that dissimilar from phantom itch, where people who have lost an appendage still feel that the limb is attached. PGS sufferers still have full use of their hands, but think they are still encased in flock-lined rubber. Dr. Phan thinks that a gradual cessation of glove use will help the return of tactile sense in the fingers. "There has never been any documented permanent damage to the nerves or the senses," stated Dr. Phan. "But workers should beware! Without the protection of the gloves, these people will have to deal with problems associated with cleaning--chapped hands, chipped nails, and cracked cuticles. A trip or two to an esthetician should solve most problems." "Another
solution, one which my colleagues and I are working on right now, is to
reintroduce other stimulating materials into the gloves," said Dr.
Phan. "We have a deal with a major glove manufacturer in Indonesia
to embed shards of glass, slivers of wood, as well as several 'mystery
substances'. All are specially designed to stimulate the nerves and provide
tactilely interesting material for fingers that have to be protected for
long periods of time."
|
||||||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |