 |
 | |||
|
|
| |||
|
|
 |
 |
||||||||||||||||
| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR GOLF AND BASEBALL HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
TACOMA, WA--Casey Martin, the professional golfer who made headlines last year by winning a legal battle that allowed him to use a golf cart, wants to play baseball this season. The 31-year-old has set his sites on the new sport, and both he, and his golf cart, are ready for the new challenges.
Martin's ability to play golf was being impeded because of Klippel-Trenauny-Weber syndrome, a rare circulatory condition that affects his legs. The disease restricts the flow of blood and makes it painful for him to walk. The Supreme Court determined that he was protected under the Americans With Disabilities Act, and was subsequently allowed to use his golf cart on all PGA tour events. Martin is using the same right to allow him to play professional baseball. "I have a legal right to use my golf cart," said Martin. "I don't want to change the game [of baseball]. I just want to play." Martin has been trying-out with the Tacoma Rainier's of the Pacific Coast League, and hopes to secure a position as an outfielder. George Foster, the Rainiers' manager, thinks that Martin has a good shot at making the team. "We're really impressed with Casey's progress," said Foster. "He's already got a great swing, and that cart gives him great range in the outfield. I'm particularly impressed with his time from first [base] to second [base]. He's got the potential to be a real stealing threat. Casey's definitely got the wheels." Bug Selig, the commissioner for Major League Baseball is unhappy with the Supreme Court's ruling. Selig doesn't want to see any changes made to America's favourite sport.
"This decision affects the integrity of baseball," said Selig. "I'm not happy about it at all. If we allow carts into the game now, then the next thing will be rocket carts, and then bionic pitchers. Eventually, only humanoid baseball robots will be playing the game." Martin's lawyer, Rufus Penderwag, challenged the commissioner's comments. "Babe Ruth had someone run for him," said Penderwag. "And no one's questioning the Bambino's integrity are they? The kid just wants to play." Many professional baseball players admire Martin's courage, and look forward to the challenging Martin this season. "It's
going to tough blocking the plate," admitted catcher Tom Wilson of
the Sacramento River Rats. "I just hope [Martin] isn't using studded
tires."
|
|||||||||||||||||
 |
|
||||||||||||||||
| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
| Tell us what you thought. Visit our Message Boards. | HOME | DISCLAIMER | ABOUT US | Copyright 2005-2001 The Toque Entertainment. |
