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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR RELIGIOUS HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
CENTRAL CANADA-- Canada is a nation of many cultures and religions. Proud of its multicultural heritage, the northern country embraces many diverse forms of worship. One of the lesser known ethnic communities is the Mooslims, a unique culture that worships the moose, a mighty Canadian beast.
The Mooslims are an isolated community located approximately 120 kilometres northwest of Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, with a population of about 3,500. Many arrived in the 1950s from villages in Muusistan, in Central Asia, and settled in the dusty, prairie region, an area that most resembled their former home. The religion has grown steadily since, even among the non-Muusistani local inhabitants. Members of the Mooslim community are easily recognizable by their distinctive felt toques, which are chestnut brown with broad protruding antlers. They have sworn never to eat the meat of the moose, but enjoy collecting the antlers cast off by the bull moose in the fall. The Mooslims have several customs that make them stand out from other ethnic communities that surround the district, like the Orthodox Ukrainians, and the Mennonites. Mooslims never spend quarters--they are collected and deposited in their house of worship, the Moosque. (The caribou is the animal that is pictured on the Canadian quarter, but it is often mistaken for a moose.) Emblems of popular culture that portray the moose are venerated as being manifestations of the Divine Spirit. Television shows like "Bullwinkle" or "Northern Exposure" are watched carefully and interpreted as parables and holy works.
The Bullwinkle episode "Upsidaisium" for example, where Bullwinkle inherits an upsidaisium mine in a mountain that flies is seen as a prophecy for when the Divine Spirit, through the moose, will lift them from Earth and fly them to paradise. Many of the customs reflect modern Canadian culture. Moosehead beer is drunk as a sacrament, and the labels are carefully peeled off and saved in scrapbooks or used as wallpaper. The empties are used to hold sacred candles, and the bottle caps are fashioned into relics. The physical representation of the Mooslim deity is also important. Their beards often imitate the "bell", the flap of skin below a moose's jaw that is covered with long brown hair. "If you want to worship a moose you have to look like a moose," said Yzhaad Fhrniik, a Mooslim, and resident of Moose Jaw. "Even the women in the community grow beards." The origins of the Mooslims are lost in antiquity and are especially puzzling--as moose don't exist where the Mooslims seem to have originated. Legends speak of a large herbivore living in a swamp who taught the first people how to make fire and cook cabbage, but there is no truth to the stories. Many believe the Mooslims
were created out of a need for identity, and the first Mooslims simply
took the moose by the horns. But, they're not alone. Other interesting
Canadian philosophies include the audacious beaver cult in Ontario, the
Inuit Walrus Clans, and the very rigid "Sons Of The Totem",
a peculiar British Columbian sect that has its members sit on each other's
shoulders.
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