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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR MONOPOLY HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
JERRY'S GAMING DEPOT-- The neighbourhood kids love coming to Jerry's Gaming Depot for the Saturday afternoon Monopoly tournaments. There's no prize money, but the honour of being the best Monopoly player is reward enough for those who enjoy playing the old Parker Brothers game.
But ever since the new kid started showing up, the competition has been much stiffer, and it's been practically impossible for anyone else to win. The "new kid" is known only as "Grak." "When I first saw [Grak] I thought he was some cancer kid, and I felt sorry for him," said Eddie Paulson. "But then, in the first game he raped me on a property trade, and then double-dealed me on a rental agreement. I was so screwed." "We didn't try as hard," confirmed Brad Dupont, another player. "He said he'd never played a 'Huu-man' game before so we went easy on him. What a mistake! He kicked our asses, and then charged us for doing it!" "I've never seen anyone pick up the game so fast," said Jerry Swanson, owner of the gaming business. "In between turns, Grak offered me advice on selling trading cards, and comic-book paraphernalia. I took some of his advice and profits went up 12%. Then he suggested I should be sharing some of that with him. He called me 'partner'. He was so cute." "I think Grak may be foreign, but I can't place his accent," added Jerry. "It's probably one of them new countries like Kickyerassistan. His clothes are colourful enough. I can see now why they wear those veils on the backs of their heads." Tom Kendall, an entrepreneur and regular player at Jerry' Gaming Depot, is impressed with the new kid's abilities. "I'm sure if Grak applied his international business skills to the 'real world', he could turn a real profit," said Tom. "The way he plays Monopoly--it's as if his mind is working at warp speed. He just seems to have a natural knack for cutting a deal, negotiating prices, and talking himself out of tight squeezes." "The other weekend, he started a game after everyone else had already had a turn," said Tom. "Within two rounds he had two sides of the board sewn up and had convinced everyone to pay him double rent--even though he hadn't built any houses yet. It was amazing to watch." The new kid's winning abilities aren't always appreciated, though. "I lost real money playing against that kid," said Mika Vlasnokikov, 15. "Somehow I ended up paying [Grak] five bucks to get out of jail." "I'm
so in debt to Grak. I already owe him money for the next two tournaments,
and now he's charging me interest!" complained Eddie. "How did
that happen? It's no coincidence that he wants to be the banker every
game."
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| This fictional story about satire is intended for adults. | The World Leader in Canadian humour, humor, parody, and satire. | |
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