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| CANADA'S SOURCE FOR HUMOUR, PARODY, AND SATIRE
All the classics from the boom of a few years ago are still out, flat on their backs, and mired in tepidity.But as an upstart chicken corn soup discovered last week, the Street is still a sucker for a sexy growth story. It always has been. The lucky soup stock in question is Chicken Corn II, a two-year-old U.S. discount soup with a good broth--the whole chicken is simmered for two hours until the chicken has fallen from the bone. The soup also sports a decent thickener, a cup of flour mixed with the nascent stock in a food processor, which is then returned to the stock pot. Selling points for this stock include a fine mix of vegetables and seasonings--including, of course, the corn. This soup is asking for three cups of corn. With an additional four cups of celery, it may seem that the corn is only a small slice of its equity. The flavour factor is the key point though. Corn's influence will quickly shoot up 67 per cent in twenty minutes of simmering, making it the hottest offering of the year. It will still be riding high as left-overs for the rest of the week. At nearly three times the estimated tastiness of other soups for this year, Chicken Corn II slurps and goes down as if it has been a star performer for years, instead of a brash newcomer in this cutthroat business that has claimed dozens of heavily hyped startups and plenty of bigger stocks over the past decade. It didn't hurt Chicken Corn II that a couple of the majors, Beef Barley and Chicken Noodle, reported heavy losses due to excessive watering and lack of salt and pepper. Chicken Corn II's market capitalization stands on being served hot and garnished with parsley flakes. That's why it's inevitable that other major soup stocks will be heading into the same pot. If they can't raise fresh garnishments themselves, they'll happily do it through offshoots, such as oregano and basil. I predict we'll soon be seeing public flotations by Duck and Sausage Gumbo, Basic Vegetable Stock, and Cawl--another newcomer with a Welsh twist. The key to marketability is to keep a tight lid on costs and stick to a cautious carefully mapped recipe, exploiting meat prices and ingredient gaps left by the majors.
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